The British Independent Film Awards 2002
(Stef is just visible in the background click for larger image)

The event was due to commence at Pacha, London at 7:15 on 30.October.2002. The night was rainy, the cabs were scarce and the traffic horrendous. In spite of all this we managed to arrive by about 7:30.

Timing is everything!

As we made our way through the crush of fans, paparazzi, security and onlookers we could see an even brighter scene inside the foyer. We were handed our table assignment and realized the commotion was Ewan addressing a sea of reporters, cameras and bright lights. We stopped dead in our tracks. Not only was Ewan ten feet away from us, but we would need to pass through this press zoo in order to get into the venue. Eventually we forged ahead, but stopped again on the steps to simply watch. He did wrap it up shortly and as he rushed past Barbara she said, "Hello Ewan, we came here from New York." He stopped about three steps above her and turned on his heels. He looked at her and said, "Oh yes, hello." And he leaned down and kissed both Barbara and Stefanie. I was standing five steps above him and as he passed me, Barbara said, "And that's Kate." He took my hand and said, "Hello Kate!" The three of us stood on the landing with our collective heads spinning. Traces of Ewan-essence still thick in the air. Now what? Hold on a minute, I didn't get a kiss!!!!

Somehow we managed to get ourselves up the next flight of stairs to the second floor. This was an oval balcony overlooking the floor below. There were tables and chairs and a bar at either end. And this is where the picture was taken of Ewan and Eve with Stef in the background. (SeeEwanspotting.com - MediaSpotting - web sightings thread.) At the bar at the far end of this room we found ourselves almost alone with Ewan and Eve. I quickly downed a glass of champagne and stood in disbelief as we considered in what manner we could broach a conversation. Eve joined another group and finally, with no help from a blithering me, Stefanie boldly launched into one about the Everyman web auction. She told Ewan about bidding against herself and forgetting it was pounds not dollars. He laughed and asked what items she bought. After she listed them all and it was clear the poor girl had spent a fortune, I piped in that I had been at the event and heard his promise of kisses for high bids. "Anything for charity", said Ewan, and we all laughed.

Barbara told Ewan how much she loved Moulin Rouge and Ewan's reaction was, "Yes, that one really worked didn't it?"
I offered him my congratulations and then asked, "This is a big deal, no? I mean it seems like a big deal to me." "Yes, I guess." So I repeated, "Congratulations, Ewan." I asked him if he needed to make a speech? "Yes." {{{Shudder.}}} "Do you know during which part of the evening this will happen, beginning, middle, end?" He thought the end and I explained, " I would be a wreck all night and shredding my napkin." He smiled. When Stef mentioned the comments she had gotten about keeping her eyes shut during certain scenes of Solid Geometry from people in Edinburgh, (Stef looks about 13!) Ewan laughed and said, "I get that a lot!" We then discussed Young Adam. Ewan believed it would be released in the US, after cutting out about eight scenes. "Oh good", I said, "I thought I would have to fly here to see it." I asked Ewan if he had seen a complete version of it yet. "No, only about two minutes." "Well", I said, "I read the book and I wonder if you have made the character any more…er, em…sympathetic?" Now here is where I completely lost all sense of reality. Barbara, Stefanie and even the room all dissolved into a misty haze. There was no longer anything in the world but Ewan and I. He leaned in and was listening to my every word. His eyes were boring into mine, and his brow was furrowed. I noticed this look of intensity in the middle of my sentence. I groped for the word sympathetic. Thankfully I did not lose all powers of communication, but I wonder how? Whew!

He thought about it and answered, "No, I don't think so. At least I'd like to think I didn't. There are an awful lot of inner workings going on. A lot of what he has going on inside his own head, inner thoughts don't you think? I like to think I did not make him very sympathetic."

I was woozy, and after a moment he got called into another conversation to his right. He turned away and then turned back and touched Stef's arm and apoligized, "I'm sorry but I have to go over here for a few minutes." Ewan was wearing jeans, a soft black sweater with a brown suede jacket and sneakers. His hair was a bit spiky and his beautiful face was unshaven but just slightly stubbly. Eve had on cool winter white boots with a buckle (the pointy kind with a small kitten heel) and a coat in a matching creamy white. I loved the boots and the cut of the coat, but it had these big appliqué flowers on the bottom half which I did not care for. Her hair was curly and just pulled up casually in a clip. Her face and make-up gorgeous! What I really did not like was the fur ball scarf. When she removed her coat she wore a pretty black dress. Ewan drank soda all night and did smoke, but certainly not much. .
They announced that it was time to take our seats, so we did. Ewan also made his way down the corridor but kept getting stopped along the way. We did not! At first glance our table seemed horribly positioned, soon we realized how ideal it was. We were seated in the balcony overlooking the floor filled with all the tables of nominees. The stage was directly below us, but fortunately the podium was far enough out that we could really see perfectly. In fact we could read all the winners names before they were announced. But the best part was that as the tables filled we saw that we were in a direct line with Ewan's table. We were able to watch him unobserved for the entire night…sigh! We could hear him laugh and hoot.

I found this entire program exhilarating. True enough, I did not know all the people involved, but I knew enough. Watching the young man from Sweet Sixteen win as best newcomer and hearing Ewan's raucous reaction was thrilling! OK, his thick Scottish burr made it nearly impossible to understand one word, but never mind that. The tribute for Richard Harris was incredibly moving. His son gave a beautiful speech and when the grand daughter attempted to deliver hers, she broke down. Unable to continue, her uncle finished for her and it was lovely. I know I was touched as they spoke lovingly and respectfully of a man that they clearly loved dearly. There were several humorous anecdotes and stories retold. I even got teary-eyed and when observing the room, realized I was not alone. Eve looked visibly upset and Ewan seemed choked up. When the family returned to their seats, Ewan, sitting nearby, leaned over to the grand daughter in an effort to console her.

There were several funny moments, a couple of serious ones, but for the most part it was a party. The food was Pan-Asian trendy hors d'ouevres and not ample enough to counter the free flowing wine. When Samantha Morton accepted her award for Morvern Caller (another Scottish win) she was visibly and admittedly quite drunk. As the evening wore on the crowd was getting rowdy and a little restless. Poor James Nesbitt, who won best actor for Bloody Sunday, knocked over a giant plant thingy and nearly took out an entire table on his way up to accept his award.

Some of the celebrity attendees I did know were Casey Affleck, Summer Phoenix, Trudie Styler and Terry Gilliam, who presented an emotional tribute to George Harrison.

As the time for Ewan's award drew nearer, I sensed a change in his demeanor. His lovely habit of rubbing his face, neck and head increased, as did his finger nibbling. He lit a cigarette and sucked in deeply and appreciatively, and leaning his head back, exhaled slowly and sensuously. I enjoyed that cigarette as much as he did!! When Ewan finally got up to accept his award the crowd hooted and applauded enthusiastically, none louder than we. Eve was positively beaming. He began by stating that earlier when his wee girl asked what movie this was for, he told her not for any one in particular but for all of his work. He told her this made it difficult to know what to say. "I can tell you what to say Daddy." Ewan pulled a tiny note pad from his jacket pocket and proceeded to read, "Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen. I want to thank you for this prize - it is a very nice prize. Thank you." Thunderous applause and Ewan bounded off the stage.

The final award for best picture was given and thus ended this portion of the evening. There was a post-party beginning directly after, but we had flown in that morning and were knackered. We seriously doubted that Ewan was attending so we planned to leave.

Though we were convinced that Ewan was not attending the after-party and exhausted as we all were, when security told us to either enter the party or hit the road I panicked! I was unable to call it a night. I needed another glimpse, another exchange with Ewan, I needed closure. Much to the shock of Barbara and Stef, I bolted back up the stairs. Quite a feat in three inch heels.
I wanted to see if Ewan was still loitering in the crowd. After thoroughly scanning the crowd and being apprehended by a confused Barbara, I faced the fact that Ewan was gone and this evening's end had come. Dejectedly I made my way back down that fateful flight of stairs. And what do my wandering eyes behold?

Yes! That warm familiar glare of camera lights, ah, the sun had come out again!

We saw that once again, Ewan was being interviewed and filmed. Once again we needed to walk through this mayhem to reach our destination. As we made our way toward the door we caught Ewan's eye and he turned his back on the press in order to say goodbye. Stefanie said what a lovely speech he had made and figured Clara had a future as a speechwriter. I think you can imagine the grin this invoked. Even Eve responded to this with a warm and very proud, "Thank you". Then Ewan took Stef's hand and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Barbara was next and got the same. When my turn came, I simply held both his hands and said, "Thank you". He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. His hands were incredibly warm and his kiss both stubbly and soft. .
We were handed a goodie bag, floated out to the street and the doorman hailed us a cab. By the time we were pulling away we saw Ewan on the street signing autographs.

Our fantasy night was over, but the cab did not turn into a pumpkin. This had been real, I find it difficult to articulate, but as fantastic as it all was it was equally grounded. Speaking with Ewan was an incredible treat. In spite of the fuzzy foggy feeling, the conversation s we had seemed as important as any others we saw him having that evening. The time he spent with us as valuable as that spent with industry people. It can't get any more real than that.

THE END.